New Relationship Non-Negotiables for Evolved Unions
From tradwives to radical partnership
Today’s relationships lack coherence and are steeped in karmic contracts and entanglements. Most people are with the wrong person and that’s not by accident. While many of these relationships are designed to propel us forward or empower us to a higher version of self, what does a new version of a dynamic partnership look like?
In the wake of tradwives and the resurgence of the hyper masculine relationship archetype, American women are divorcing in droves due to the same archaic and barbaric systems of union used to oppress the feminine for centuries. However, when it comes to new dialogue on how the pendulum can realistically swing the other way, there isn’t much to be found outside of understandable complaints.
While there are actual legislative implications to marriage and union in many spaces, it’s time to discuss new frameworks of adulthood that don’t prioritize the use of traditional systems of co-dependency and outdated ways of relating.
Here are some of my new non-negotiables for a modern union; one that shifts the conversation from tradwife to equal partnership, while honoring the ways relationships and standards have changed in modern time:
Emotional Honesty
There is an inherent fear of loss in most modern relationships. Couples either avoid moments of honesty as to “keep the peace,” within a status quo or to avoid the experience of grief or loss all together. This fear, as well as concepts of scarcity, is where emotional dishonesty can creep in. Commonly, emotional dishonesty or withholding aid in maintaining comfortable facades or to remain attached to a decaying connection. New partners need to be able to constructively communicate emotions without fear or trepidation. This must involve emotional maturity on both ends and the understanding that feelings fuel the backdrop of any bond. What is unspoken is always still felt.
Intellectual Intimacy
New relationships need a space where the sharing of one’s innermost thoughts and ideas can exist without judgement. Imagine not being blindsided by your partners vastly different political views. Having regular discussions about life’s journey, the role we each play in the world, and the sharing of meaningful experiences build that mental trust. As of late, many modern relationships have at least one partner who looks the other way or pretends not to be frustrated with their partners rigid of unchanging beliefs. There is something to be gained on both sides when two people can support and challenge each other mentally.
Emotional Autonomy
Think of all the arguments couples have because one partner is having a feeling while the other is in a different emotional place. Being able to have emotions without expecting your partner to mirror the same feelings ensures that you don’t become a drain on each other’s energy. Allowing your partner to have different feelings without fear or anxiety is a sign of moving from co-dependency to inter-dependency.
Deconstruct Traditional Households for Core Values
There is a time and a place to let go of the cookie-cutter conditioning. Households can be multi-generational, true divine husbands and wives don’t always have to live together all the time. Instead of perpetuating the single-family home mentalities we were fed, we can start to imagine families built on shared core values instead of arbitrary roles. For example, shouldn’t nurturing and some form of personal discipline be a core value in every household? Those with kids and even those without would benefit from a space where substance proceeds structure and not the other way around.
These are just some of the ways relating to a future partner could change for individuals who are tired of the emotionally laborious mismatch of current times.
